Sunday, March 28, 2010

Letting Go

"Don't you want to keep this sweetheart?" I ask as I hold my daughter's fairy collection in a box. 

 "No mom," my daughter replies reluctantly, knowing that I may be disappointed.

 I sigh and place them aside.  "Honey, can't you play with these a little bit more?  I remember when you used to love your dolls".  She shakes her head from side to side and shrugs. I sigh again and place some more of her toys in the "giveaway box".
 This weekend we decided to "edit" her room so that she could have more space on her shelves for her extensive book collection (450 and counting).  This was the conversation most of the time.  I really didn't think it would be so hard to empty out all the junk/toys and fritch-y fratch-y's.  I thought my daughter would have a difficult time with it but it was me in the end that found it hard to part with certain things.  Picking up a doll had me back years ago when she was younger and played on the floor with them.  I had unknowingly formed an attachment with all the things that may have been related to a second birthday, or loosing her first tooth.  Somehow while I was busy living and being her mom, she grew up.  Clothes are different, friends, activities and tastes. {I am getting teary eyed!}

"Mom, I am just to old for this now.  I really don't play with them anymore...sorry!"  She is apologizing to me for wanting to get the stuff out of her room.  I thought I would be the one to have to say, "Sorry, this has to go."  I really didn't think about the time that would come where she no longer desired these things.  Now we are onto finding a place for an Ipod dock, a spot for a desk, computer, reading chair, and updated bedding.  Somehow this process of letting go has made me realize that she is no longer a little girl and she is looking to grow up and have that reflected in her room.  She needs the breathing room and all of these "things" were in the way.  They for sure were in my way too.  My daughter is wise beyond her years and wants to focus on her writing, her book review blog Book Jacket, reading, drawing, school, roller blading (this is a new love), and friends.  I am very proud of her.

I secretly wish that I just had some more moments when I could hear her acting out a "play" upstairs.   Then later coming across one of the "scenes" that belonged to this play.  I would always leave all  of them just as they were.  Most of the time they were set up all over the house and would stay up for weeks.  I really felt that it allowed her to really express her creativity.  I would be over a friends home and they would have their children take down something they had built for hours.  They had to put it all away.  I do not consider myself very liberal, rather conservative, but knew instinctively that if I had her put that amazing scene away that she worked on for hours...I would never see it again and she would loose what she created.  It was almost like art.  Am I a good mom or what?  I actually believe that she benefited from the freedom to create.

When we were done for the day, it was all good.  Some small objects are staying behind to adorn her space. We still have more work to do in her room and she has taken it upon herself to sketch out a design...we will see how far we can go with it!  I am enjoying her eleven years of age (going on twenty or so).  Looking forward to discovering what she loves now and who she will become.
Aren't these sketches wonderful?  I think she has been bitten by the decorating bug!  I know hanging around me...antiquing, furniture shopping, blogging, and hunting for that perfect thing has worn off on her!


*All photo's property of Living It At Home*

13 wonderful comments:

Deepali Kalia Filling Spaces said...

the little melts my heart

Anonymous said...

Your daughter's sketch is amazing! I had a hard time when we packed up my daughter's American Girl dolls. I have them all stashed away for future grandchildren. :) It seems like we are always saying goodbye. Goodbye to the toddler, preschooler, elementary aged child, etc., etc. If only we could bottle them up and keep them young forever!

Yvonne Blacker said...

This post touched my heart! I also spent my day sifting through the room of an 11 year old! As I was picking up the 100th Lego off the floor I was happy that they are being packed away for good, but sad that the little boy who played with them has "grown up." Even my 6 year old is too big to spend time with the objects that filled our days for so many years. I love who they are becoming, but sometimes I miss their littler selves!

PS I love that you let your daughter leave her "creative works of art" up for as long as she wished!

Londen @ Sixty-Fifth Avenue said...

This was a beautifully written post. I got teary eyed.
Your daughter is a talented artist and I hope my daughter will continue her love of books as much as yours does.


shari @ little blue deer said...

I got choked up reading your post (really), and I don't even have any children. It was really touching. Also I wanted to stop by to say that I tagged you in a Happy 101 post today, you don't have to do anything with it but I just wanted you to know how much I love your blog!

VictoriaArt said...

The sketch is wonderful, she is talented!
And: I so know what you both are going through, my daughter (13) is doing just this, radically sorting out and leaving the childhood behind.
All her American girl things and some stuff I can not part with I keep in a keepsake box for much later, when she will be all grown up or for grandchildren to look and play with. She does not know this, but I teasure some things. Certainly not throwing some of her things away.
You've got me teary eyed and I am very soft at that spot!
Well, I guess it's the mother feeling, the keeper and protector.

daniela rota nodari said...

Hi Jamiline,
Living It At Home is Beatiful !!!!
Je l'Adore!!!!
Lovely photos!!!
Y am Your Follower !!
Kisses :)

Daniela "Dream Shabby Chic" Milano

beki said...

They do grow up so fast, don't they? I'm having a little trouble at the moment accepting that my baby is turning 4 this year.

LindsB said...

Wow, you have one talented daughter!! Those sketches are amazing! You might have a mini interior designer on your hands there :)

paula said...

she is quite the little artist. Does it make me a bad mom that I want to get rid of everything in my son's room?

The Zhush said...

Oh my goodness....this post killed me! I was hoping this was a teenager, maybe 15 you were talking about, b/c my oldest is 10, I feel the exact same way about her stuff and her room. I stuggle with letting her leave her giant box forts up for yours, mine wants to be an architect, but this changes every other week! I am all choked up now.
(you are a great mom!)

Stephanie Sabbe said...

the sketches are great! you need to send that one to design school for sure:)

Mom of 2 Cuties @ Sprinkles of Joy and Laughter said...

Just found your blog. What a sweet post. I have a 7 yr old and it's amazing how quick they grow up and on to their own little persons. Your daughteer seems amazing with her reading and sketches. What a treasure and a forever friend we have in our daughters. Enjoy your day!